Launch.
In February, my wife of seven years decided to divorce me. The usual beating myself up over it ensued and got worse when I found out she had left me for the only friend (more like a frenemy whom I kept at arm's length after he broke my nose back in 2001) I was allowed to have during our relationship. In hindsight, that should have raised red flags. What should have raised more red flags was her reaction after a female coworker/friend of mine hugged me when our respective groups crossed paths at a store over a year beforehand. The younger generation exchanges hugs as a greeting. The ex didn't understand this.
It didn't help that, yes, the hugger is rather attractive (and married as of August).
After the ex left, I went through the usual divorce diet. During this stage, you either gain or lose 15 pounds. I lost 15lbs and ended up at 190, but it was starvation through just not being able to eat so I lost muscle so it came back with a vengeance. My daughter saw the whole process.
The divorce was finalized on April Fools Day. A few days after that, some friends took me to a sushi place I had never been to. I needed to get out so I was all for it. This would open a chapter of hope for me because one of the women who joined us was there with her husband and we ended up chatting up a storm. I figured if women that awesome did, in fact, exist, it was only a matter of time before I met one who wasn't married. I just didn't know what to do to prepare for such an eventuality.
Life carried forward and I made things work. My 31st birthday passed in May without disaster, as I had hoped. I had noticed an unusual pattern after my own split, however. A lot of other couples were divorcing as well, including, as I found out in mid-June, the awesome girl from the sushi place and her husband. He had kicked her out at the start of June. Seeing her going through what I had already endured was just devastating, but I didn't know how to help her.
The divorce was finalized on April Fools Day. A few days after that, some friends took me to a sushi place I had never been to. I needed to get out so I was all for it. This would open a chapter of hope for me because one of the women who joined us was there with her husband and we ended up chatting up a storm. I figured if women that awesome did, in fact, exist, it was only a matter of time before I met one who wasn't married. I just didn't know what to do to prepare for such an eventuality.
And it didn't help that I was stuck living in the trailer house my now ex and I had shared.
Life carried forward and I made things work. My 31st birthday passed in May without disaster, as I had hoped. I had noticed an unusual pattern after my own split, however. A lot of other couples were divorcing as well, including, as I found out in mid-June, the awesome girl from the sushi place and her husband. He had kicked her out at the start of June. Seeing her going through what I had already endured was just devastating, but I didn't know how to help her.
I would about a week later.
The woman in question needed help moving an AC unit from her old apartment and I was volunteered for the task by a mutual friend who knew how highly I thought of her. After loading the AC unit in her car, we went to the same sushi place as we had almost three months prior, discussing anything and everything over many varieties of sushi. A funny thing happened. We kept talking after the sushi had been paid for. And then we went outside and kept talking for about another three hours through bugs and a dusty rainstorm. And then, after we planned a tentative movie night and said our goodbyes, she hugged me.
Days later, she texted me, saying that day would have been her fourth anniversary. I asked if she wanted to have movie night that night. We did. It was fun. And she hugged me again.
Awkwardness of dating a coworker be damned, we were almost inseparable and became an item over the next two weeks. I took care of her on the 4th of July after she hurt her shoulder that morning. Life and stress caught up with both of us later on. Part of it stemming from the fact I was basically renting the trailer house from my ex and, being the jealous type, she started unloading drama on me immediately after seeing my new girlfriend and her amazing body (she was, in terms of mass, half the woman my ex was) though, and the new girlfriend terminated the relationship in September, short of the three month point, having become someone totally different from the woman she was when we started dating. Figuring out who she is, I guess.
Two months later I still get strange vibes from her and I'm not the only one.
In the days prior to the breakup, I had been strongly considering buying a motorcycle and even looked at one in particular. Ultimately, I had thought saving the money and playing the waiting game would be a wise decision. This is half-true. Motorcycle prices drop sharply during fall and winter because the season is about to end. I was expecting to get a scratched up bike that I wouldn't feel too bad about dropping while learning to ride. Anything in decent running condition was outside my price range. Until the breakup, that is.
I had saved money to buy a laptop for my girlfriend. With no girlfriend, I didn't need to buy a laptop. That was about half the money for a bike right there. Opportunity knocks but it doesn't beg. An hour or so after the breakup, I bought the bike I had looked at, a 2001 Suzuki Bandit 1200S. It was easily worth far more than the asking price.
A week after the breakup, I moved out of the trailer and into a house of my own in another town. It was just after the move that I realized, while setting up the medical scale I brought with me, that I had dropped ten pounds somehow. I was eating enough and I wasn't doing anything new. I just figured I'd keep the status quo.
Two weeks later, mid-October, I rode my motorcycle over the mountain to visit my family. That was an easy, if uneventful, ride. It did teach me that riding a motorcycle is actually a pretty good workout for the upper body, as well as the lower body in terms of just hanging on. Let's put it this way. Outside of the "Ride to Eat. Eat to Ride." Goldwing crowd, have you ever seen a lady biker who didn't have strong, shapely legs? It's the same as with cowgirls.
The next day, a Sunday, I got more adventurous and decided to take another canyon that had more turns to it. That was a bad idea. There was one curve where the guardrail had seen a lot of action. I wondered about this as I entered the turn. Milliseconds later, I had my answer as the road dropped and the lean for my turn was gone, leaving me headed straight for the guard rail in question. With gravel under me, I couldn't stop. My only choice was to lay the bike down and use my skillset earned from years upon year of falling off of BMX and mountain bikes like a pro.
It's a little different switching from a 25lb bicycle to a 500lb engine with wheels. My left foot got the engine dropped right on it. I slid and rolled to a stop while the bike slid another hundred feet, owing to riding on three small contact points, one of which was a piece of the fairing that was being sanded down by the asphalt roadway.
I felt like I had rolled my ankle pretty badly and I had. While the bike was able to be driven back home without trouble and only needed a $20 set of turn signals to replace the one that broke off (and signing the death certificate for a battery I knew wouldn't make it through the off-season), I needed some recovery time. It would be two weeks before I could get around without limping. I didn't go to a doctor because I knew nothing was broken. The paramedics agreed on that front because I was able to walk.
That whole thing screwed up my fitness plan that involved a lot of miles being put on my bike before the weather got bad. I still ended up taking first place in the Biggest Loser-type competition at work. $160 in my pocket for dropping 16 pounds in twelve weeks.
There's overlap in that competition, though. At the start of October, a new round was started that will run until the end of May. That's part of why I'm posting this update for the archives. It's a long enough stretch of time to allow for a real, solid fitness technique instead of the usual mad dash that has gotten so many people in trouble and gaining the weight back.
I have my tried and true recumbent exercise bike (which I'm going to try to wear out), my dumbbells and a pull-up/chin-up bar at the moment. I'm almost at the end of my two week ramp-up and my injuries from the crash are all but healed.
I won't be providing daily updates or anything close to that. I will probably do a redux of some sort at each arbitrary milestone. I can either make history or write it down, which requires focusing on the past. I would rather write about it after I'm done with the task.
As for life in general, I figured out why I dropped the weight I already dropped. It's simply a matter of the fact that I'm happy now. My daughter can see it, my friends can see it. It took some time to realize it, but not having a mate who browbeats me every time I attempt to stave off an early death while she plays World of Warcraft and eats has had quite the effect.
As baseline, I'm actually happier than I was when my recent girlfriend and I started out because I handled the stress that was hanging over my head, left a toxic environment and took back control of my life and existence. In addition, my ex-wife married the guy she left me for earlier this month (after a four week engagement) and I haven't heard any vitriol from her since. Either she got a rare storybook ending or he's become the target.
As for relationships, well, I would never restrict myself from the perfect girl even if she did happen to be a coworker. Love can come from anywhere and it tends to strike like a snake when you least expect it. It tends to find you sooner if you look good because, like it or not, the outside reflects the inside.
And this is, even if nothing changes in the next month-plus, the first year in six years where I will begin a new year in better shape than the new year that came before it. My downward spiral is over. The next few months will determine whether my upward journey is a spiral or a launch.
Days later, she texted me, saying that day would have been her fourth anniversary. I asked if she wanted to have movie night that night. We did. It was fun. And she hugged me again.
Awkwardness of dating a coworker be damned, we were almost inseparable and became an item over the next two weeks. I took care of her on the 4th of July after she hurt her shoulder that morning. Life and stress caught up with both of us later on. Part of it stemming from the fact I was basically renting the trailer house from my ex and, being the jealous type, she started unloading drama on me immediately after seeing my new girlfriend and her amazing body (she was, in terms of mass, half the woman my ex was) though, and the new girlfriend terminated the relationship in September, short of the three month point, having become someone totally different from the woman she was when we started dating. Figuring out who she is, I guess.
Two months later I still get strange vibes from her and I'm not the only one.
In the days prior to the breakup, I had been strongly considering buying a motorcycle and even looked at one in particular. Ultimately, I had thought saving the money and playing the waiting game would be a wise decision. This is half-true. Motorcycle prices drop sharply during fall and winter because the season is about to end. I was expecting to get a scratched up bike that I wouldn't feel too bad about dropping while learning to ride. Anything in decent running condition was outside my price range. Until the breakup, that is.
I had saved money to buy a laptop for my girlfriend. With no girlfriend, I didn't need to buy a laptop. That was about half the money for a bike right there. Opportunity knocks but it doesn't beg. An hour or so after the breakup, I bought the bike I had looked at, a 2001 Suzuki Bandit 1200S. It was easily worth far more than the asking price.
A week after the breakup, I moved out of the trailer and into a house of my own in another town. It was just after the move that I realized, while setting up the medical scale I brought with me, that I had dropped ten pounds somehow. I was eating enough and I wasn't doing anything new. I just figured I'd keep the status quo.
Two weeks later, mid-October, I rode my motorcycle over the mountain to visit my family. That was an easy, if uneventful, ride. It did teach me that riding a motorcycle is actually a pretty good workout for the upper body, as well as the lower body in terms of just hanging on. Let's put it this way. Outside of the "Ride to Eat. Eat to Ride." Goldwing crowd, have you ever seen a lady biker who didn't have strong, shapely legs? It's the same as with cowgirls.
The next day, a Sunday, I got more adventurous and decided to take another canyon that had more turns to it. That was a bad idea. There was one curve where the guardrail had seen a lot of action. I wondered about this as I entered the turn. Milliseconds later, I had my answer as the road dropped and the lean for my turn was gone, leaving me headed straight for the guard rail in question. With gravel under me, I couldn't stop. My only choice was to lay the bike down and use my skillset earned from years upon year of falling off of BMX and mountain bikes like a pro.
It's a little different switching from a 25lb bicycle to a 500lb engine with wheels. My left foot got the engine dropped right on it. I slid and rolled to a stop while the bike slid another hundred feet, owing to riding on three small contact points, one of which was a piece of the fairing that was being sanded down by the asphalt roadway.
I felt like I had rolled my ankle pretty badly and I had. While the bike was able to be driven back home without trouble and only needed a $20 set of turn signals to replace the one that broke off (and signing the death certificate for a battery I knew wouldn't make it through the off-season), I needed some recovery time. It would be two weeks before I could get around without limping. I didn't go to a doctor because I knew nothing was broken. The paramedics agreed on that front because I was able to walk.
That whole thing screwed up my fitness plan that involved a lot of miles being put on my bike before the weather got bad. I still ended up taking first place in the Biggest Loser-type competition at work. $160 in my pocket for dropping 16 pounds in twelve weeks.
There's overlap in that competition, though. At the start of October, a new round was started that will run until the end of May. That's part of why I'm posting this update for the archives. It's a long enough stretch of time to allow for a real, solid fitness technique instead of the usual mad dash that has gotten so many people in trouble and gaining the weight back.
I have my tried and true recumbent exercise bike (which I'm going to try to wear out), my dumbbells and a pull-up/chin-up bar at the moment. I'm almost at the end of my two week ramp-up and my injuries from the crash are all but healed.
I won't be providing daily updates or anything close to that. I will probably do a redux of some sort at each arbitrary milestone. I can either make history or write it down, which requires focusing on the past. I would rather write about it after I'm done with the task.
As for life in general, I figured out why I dropped the weight I already dropped. It's simply a matter of the fact that I'm happy now. My daughter can see it, my friends can see it. It took some time to realize it, but not having a mate who browbeats me every time I attempt to stave off an early death while she plays World of Warcraft and eats has had quite the effect.
As baseline, I'm actually happier than I was when my recent girlfriend and I started out because I handled the stress that was hanging over my head, left a toxic environment and took back control of my life and existence. In addition, my ex-wife married the guy she left me for earlier this month (after a four week engagement) and I haven't heard any vitriol from her since. Either she got a rare storybook ending or he's become the target.
As for relationships, well, I would never restrict myself from the perfect girl even if she did happen to be a coworker. Love can come from anywhere and it tends to strike like a snake when you least expect it. It tends to find you sooner if you look good because, like it or not, the outside reflects the inside.
And this is, even if nothing changes in the next month-plus, the first year in six years where I will begin a new year in better shape than the new year that came before it. My downward spiral is over. The next few months will determine whether my upward journey is a spiral or a launch.
